The anger within

“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.” –Mark Twain

I have turned into one of “them” and by “them” I mean an angry gamer.

If you read my blog a couple of months ago called “Goodbye old addiction, hello new addiction” then you will know the story of how video games recently came into my life.  At first it was only really Grand Theft Auto but about a month ago I took the dangerous path into the world of Call of Duty.

At first it was just the zombies side of the game, I could handle that. My sister recently got her Xbox Live Account back up and running and so we would hit up a few games each night and shoot some zombies. After a while, I ventured into the realm of the real online multi-player.  You know the one? Where adults are actually children and children try to act as though they are adults.

As the games progressed each day I found myself getting shot A LOT and dying A LOT. It’s all par for the course, I’m a novice. However, it’s only a game and so I didn’t get angry, occasionally I would question how something was possible but never angry.

I don’t do anger, not anymore. After years of anger causing me too many problems I started to channel it in other ways. With this, it was only a game and so anger shouldn’t even exist when I play it.

A few weeks passed and still I got killed a lot. The more I played, the little my skills seemed to progress. I was averaging 6 kills to every 17/18 deaths per match. If I was one of those serious gamer types then I would be an embarrassment to the gaming community. However, I play games for fun, not competition.

Today things changed. I came across what I can only describe as the grand-master of COD. Every time I turned round, he was there. Every time he was there, I was killed. He didn’t seem to want to kill anyone else, he just seemed to follow me around. Me, little old me with no prestige and a gun that isn’t even at its highest potential.

I cracked, I punched the arm of my chair, spat out some vulgarities and switched off the Xbox. I had turned, I had gone over to the dark side. For a moment I was engulfed in red mist, all caused by one game and one player.

Afterwards I sat and was more annoyed with myself for getting angry. A game is a game and it’s meant to be fun.

I shall now go and give myself a good talking to in the mirror.

 

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