Category Archives: My Life

Stories about my day to day life and my past.

Damn Forms

Today I took the first step in achieving one of my life goals, I got the registration forms through for my creative writing university course. Of course as always things are never simple, I actually think whoever designed the registration form took creative writing too far. It’s a bunch of boxes and words grouped together that actually make no sense, perhaps it’s a test to see if I am clever enough to study? Or perhaps people who design forms just don’t care.

I’m currently trying to wrap my head around it before I start filling it in. Perhaps I should just write them a story? I’ve been accepted anyway, this is just the formalities of actually paying for the course. In my mind I know that this is important but at the same time I’m looking at it and thinking it’s a hell of a lot of work that my brain can’t handle. I absolutely love to write, but ask me to fill in a form and I will try and avoid it for as long as possible. I think the only document I have ever been in a rush to fill in was the registration form when my daughter was born, that’s it. Anything else………paaah it can wait. Although at the very top of this form in massive type it says “RETURN THIS AGREEMENT BY 26/11/2013” so not only are they asking me to fill in a form but they’re putting a time limit on it? I suppose it’s good practice for the actual course. I’ve never been one for working to deadlines, my old Editor at the newspaper used to have to chase me three or four times and more often than not my work would reach her inbox bang on when the deadline was. Hey, at least I got it completed on time right?

I’m looking forward to this course, hopefully it will reach into my untapped creative side and train me in the ways of the Jedi. I shall be a padawan in the ways of creative writing, learning with my mind and bringing it to it’s full potential. Who knows, perhaps one day I shall write the worlds greatest novel, of course it would be science fiction. 

Speaking of which, we’re just over a month away from the Doctor Who 50th Anniversary special, I don’t know about you but my nipples are rock solid at the thought of it. Of course I have immersed myself in a number of debates on Gallifrey Base which is both satisfying and frustrating at the same time. For those of you who don’t know Gallifrey Base is the internets top hangout site for Doctor Who nutters such as myself. You can often find me getting annoyed at people who make assumptions and then get mad at their own assumptions on there. It’s quite entertaining. If you are on there, hit me up my name is Valeyard87.

I guess it’s time for me to get back to trying to decipher this form and then to read the latest Superior Spider-man issue.

 

 

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Sorting out my collection…

Over the last couple of days I’ve decided to sort out my DVD collection. It was on the shelves and it was just a mess, nothing was in order and I didn’t know what I had and what I didn’t have.  I’ve been building my collection for quite some time so I felt that I should give it some sort of love and devotion. 

My original plan was to go through it all and try and clear it out, get rid of some awful DVDs and make it look much neater……….that however, did not turn out to be the case.

As I sat in the middle of my living room floor I found myself surrounded by endless DVDs and try as I might I just couldn’t deal with the idea of parting with any of them. After the first few hours I had finally categorised and alphabetised the television side of the collection. It was at this point I noticed that I didn’t have certain box sets that I thought I did have. So naturally, as this was a DVD clear out, I took myself to Amazon and purchased the missing box sets. Instead of whittling down my collection, here I was adding to it.

The exact same thing happened when I got around to the film side of the collection. I didn’t have full trilogies or origin stories and so I just had to take myself to Amazon and add these as well.

My DVD spring clean turned into an expansion of the collection and a shrinkage of my bank balance. As I sit here now, typing this, I am awaiting the postman to come and hand me the boxes of DVD’s that I’ve ordered whilst he gives me that “do you have order so much from one place and make me carry it” look that he so often sends my way.

At least I know that tonight I will be able to sit down with a chilled can of lager and watch “Watchmen –Tales of the Black Freighter” content in the knowledge that the Watchmen section of my collection is now complete. Then tomorrow when I wake up I will go to the shelf and realise that I’m missing something important and no doubt end up back on Amazon. 

 

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Is it funny?

I don’t know if any of you have ever heard of Tucker Max? If you’ve ever watched the film “I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell” then you would have. That film is basically based on his life and his stories are on his website and they’re hilarious. I showed them to a friend recently and they suggested I start writing down stories from my past, just for them to read basically. I had a think about it and decided “why the hell not”.

I figured I could give it a test run here and give a sneak preview of it. So here is a snippet from Chapter Three of my life story.

“Place yourself in my situation for a moment. Here I was in the garden next to my parents house, tied up in rope, inside a greenhouse, on my own, no way of getting out and only a leg available. What would you do? Of course, you would use the leg to slide open the door and attempt to hop over to your own garden where one of your parents could untie you, everyone could laugh and “boys will be boys” right? Wrong!! I kicked the windows in the greenhouse until they smashed, got covered in glass and screamed for my mum who ultimately ran out of the house having witnessed the whole thing, dragged me home, untied me, smacked my arse and sent me to bed. Grounded for two weeks I was. I had lost contact with my new friends within three days of meeting them. This woman couldn’t do this to me! I was a master villain, moments ago I had attempted to destroy the population and take over the world. I was a nemesis to the worlds greatest superheroes, who did she think she was? I wasn’t standing for it! I stormed out of my room, threw open the front door and gallantly walked out of it. Standing on my front door step smiling and pleased with my apparent victory I felt indestructible. Seconds later I got pulled back in the door, skelped again and sent to my bed without dinner. The life of a master villain eh?”

I love reading stuff by Tucker Max and so when the film came out I instantly had to see it. It came out in 2009 and it still stands up as one of my favourites so if you haven’t watched it yet then you should go and find it. I know it’s on LoveFilm so that’s a good place to start.

www.Hypersmash.com

Back to basics.

Blogging has been a hobby of mine for so long now, it’s hard to remember a time when it hasn’t been something that I’ve done regularly. Of course anyone who’s followed my blogs in the last couple of years will know that I’ve been concentrating on music and as much as I love music I think it’s time to go back to basics and start properly blogging again.

Who knows, I might actually write something worth reading. Gone are my days of writing articles for the newspaper and gone are my days of reviewing albums and gigs. It’s time to start exploring what else lies in my mind and can be put into words for the rest of the world to see.

I enjoy writing, I enjoy reading and I enjoy telling stories. I think that story telling is an art, anyone can tell a tale but to make it into a story and have people interested is a whole different ball game.

Do I think that people will love what I write here? Probably not.

Do I hope that it’s entertaining and worth reading? That’s the goal.

It’s time to go back to basics.