Tag Archives: Robert Burn

The Monday Rant…

I was born in Scotland and raised here and excluding a few months spent living abroad in Switzerland I’ve lived here my entire life. I’ve moved from place to place over the years and encountered many different regional accents.

There is one thing however that is a source of constant annoyance to me.

Why do people in Scotland constantly feel the need to type in Scottish slang?

I understand that over time our verbal dialects have become stronger and we’ve manipulated the English language to suit our own tongue and I’m proud of that.

The is however no logical or sane reasoning behind typing with that tongue. It’s idiotic and crass. At points it’s even incomprehensible and totally unintelligible. Be proud of dialects, they’re ours but a written language is not something that should be obscure beyond any sense of understanding.

There are times, when it’s acceptable to be used, and that’s to use it to punctuate a sense of humour. However, using it as a first written language is horrible. There are very few people who can have a written command of the Scots tongue and one of them is Robert Burns………if you’re not Robert Burns then shut the fuck up and learn to spell.

“Av git tae git hame tae ma maw fur ma dinur” – this is in no way a real sentence.

Scottish has always been a great verbal dialect, but somewhere along the line it’s went from beautiful to crass. There’s a difference between the dialect of our forefathers and the dialect of today and the main one is that the Scots tongue of today is illiterate and nonsensical.

I’ll be surprised if anyone will be able to read the words on the ballot papers unless it’s written in regurgitated mangled shite.

Ballot – “Vote for one option only”

The nation – “eh wit?”

Ballot Translator – “Gonnae jist pick wan”

The nation – “aw right a get ye noo pal”

This situation is getting worse by the day, I constantly see people talking like this through texts and social media and not even to other Scottish people. I see it on worldwide pages and on these same pages I see the exact same Scottish people telling French speakers or Italian speakers to “speak English” the irony seems lost on them.

I worry for our future as a literate nation. I worry about the consequences that it will have for the education of younger people in the coming decades.

IF we do become an independent nation as a result of the voting later this year then I sincerely hope that the first thing on the agenda is to issue each household with a dictionary.